23.976
How did he know about the money?
And how did he know that Tony Cisco got popped?
We didn't find out about it till this morning.
-l don't know. -lt was Peezee. Gotta be.
He hates your fucking guts.
-l don't know. -What is so hard to understand here?
You said Peezee was a mamaluke and couldn't be trusted.
Now all of a sudden you got a soft spot for this guy.
-l just don't think it was him. -Okay, l'll buy it.
lf not Peezee, then who? Who? Tell me.
l think it was you, Ducks.
You gotta be kidding.
Caesar? Caesar, you know me.
What kind of fucking idiot would l have to be to try that with you?
-A dead fucking idiot. -Come on, Caesar.
Caesar.
Caesar!
-This is garbage. Change the channel. -Okay, Paul.
No. Hey!
What are you doing, asshole?
Sorry, Mr. Vitti. Didn't mean any disrespect.
Oh, man.
-Forget about it. -Punks.
Let them watch what they want. l'm going to bed.
-Good night, Paul. -Good night.
-All right, what do youse wanna watch? -Little Caesar!
All right, all right.
Step out.
-Hey, Earl, what's up? -They're transferring me.
-Did you ask to be transferred? -Not me.
-What's up? -l don't know.
Anyway, thanks for looking out for me, Paul.
-l'll see you around. -Sure.
lsaac Sobel was a man of rigorous belief and unflinching honesty.
A patriarch with an almost biblical sense of integrity and conviction.
A man of faith and courage, of spirit and humor.
A rock and a tree.
A good friend who will be deeply missed.
l'd like to call on lsaac's son, Dr. Ben Sobel, who would like to say a few words.
lt's not easy for me to talk about my father...
...because, in a sense, l'm talking about two people.
One is the public lsaac Sobel...
...the eminent psychotherapist...
...and popular author known to millions of readers across the world.
The second is the private man.
My father.
Dad.
And for those of you who knew him well...
...and know our family, well, l don't have to tell you.
He was a psychotic, mind-fucking prick.
An arrogant, ego-inflated son of a bitch.
l wish you were alive so l could kill you. Rot in hell!
Now l'd like to call on lsaac's son, Dr. Ben Sobel...
...who would like to say a few words.
Who the hell would have a cell phone in here?
lt's yours. Answer it before they notice.
-Hello? -Guess who, you fuck?
-l have to take this. -What?
l'm sorry. lt's mine. l have to take this.
-Yes? -l left three fucking messages.
-You don't call me back? -This is not a good time.
Not a good time? Let me explain something, l'm in fucking hell right now.
-This is not a good time. -This is a very bad time. My father died.
Get off.
-l have to go. -Don't you hang up on me, you--
-Call back. -They're trying to kill me.
Hey, Fredo. Yeah, you, Guido.
Come over here. l've got something to show you.
You're a dead man.
385, mess hall.
-Thanks, Lorenzo. -Thank you.
l can't believe he's gone.
l can't believe what you said. ''Cold and withholding''?
-You had to tell everybody? -Why didn't you take a swing at the casket?
l might have strayed from my notes a little bit.
l'm grieving. lt's a big loss, and grief is a process.
Mr. and Mrs. Sobel, your housekeeper let us in.
l'm Agent Miller, this is Special Agent Cerrone.
Federal Bureau of lnvestigation.
-We'd like to ask you a few questions. -Can l ask what this is about?
We've just come from a funeral.
We know this is a difficult time for you. lt will only take a minute.
Sure, sit down.
-Sorry about your father. -Thank you very much.
lt's very, very difficult. l'm gonna miss him terribly.
l mean, there were issues, like there are in any father-and-son relationship.
He wasn't a very warm man.
-Ben. -Yeah?
Once today. Enough.
Okay. No, l'm just saying that even so, he was a...
...great, great legs--
Man.
Dr. Sobel, you received a call this morning from Paul Vitti.
Why would you say that l got a call from Paul Vitti?
Because we monitor all his phone calls from Sing Sing.
Then, yes, l did.
-That was him? On the phone? -Yes.
-Why didn't you tell me? -Well, talk about withholding.
-Michael. -You told her at the drop of a hat.
Well, she's in the FBl. She needs to know this information.
Okay, l see, and l don't. l don't need to know these things.
No, don't tell Laura. She can't possibly handle a phone call.
Did l say that? Did l say that?
-You folks need a minute? -No, we're fine.
Yeah, we're phenomenal. Listen, l'm gonna go to the kitchen.
Just two words of advice, as one professional woman to another:
Pants suit.
She's grieving. You know, it's a process.
Vitti?
We were involved in some organized-crime activity a few years ago.
l mean, l wasn't, you know, ''involved.'' He was involved.
But l was treating him therapeutically at the time...
...and then some people tried to kill us.
lt was really nothing.
Shortly after you two spoke, he seemed to have some kind of breakdown.
Really? What kind of breakdown?
l think you had better go up there and see for yourself.
l'm treating him with Thorazine. 300 milligrams, b.i.d.
Seems to keep him pretty calm.
That would keep the Middle East pretty calm.
And he just keeps singing West Side Story songs?
''Tonight.'' ''Maria.'' The balcony scene.
You should get him to do ''Officer Krupke.'' lt's really good.
-Paul? -Maria?
Paul, it's me. Dr. Sobel.
Maria?
Tony?
Maria! Oh, Maria!
-Oh, my God! Thank God you've come! -Yes.
-You've got to get me out of here! -Okay.
-Do you promise? -l promise.
-Te adoro. -Te adoro.
This is how it's been.
He sings for a while, then he goes completely catatonic.
And you did a neurological workup?
Yeah. No tumors, no seizures, no sign of stroke.
Paul?
lf you're faking, Paul, l'm gonna know.
When l was a resident, we used to play with the catatonics.
Well, l don't think he's faking. l don't think he's smart enough.
Street smart, yeah...
...but we're talking about an lQ just north of a bedroom slipper.
So if he is truly...
...catatonic, if l stuck him with this needle....
-This is just plain saline, isn't it? -Yeah.
Yeah. Then he shouldn't feel a thing. Right?
That's gotta hurt.
No reaction at all.
l want to do some neuropsychological testing, okay?
Sure.
Paul, l'm gonna give you some tests to assess your mental condition, okay?
Now, do l have your consent to share the results of the tests?
Mommy is mad at me because l made a boom on the rug.
-l'm gonna take that as a yes. -Good.
Okay.
Paul, l have 1 0 cards, each with a picture of an inkblot on it, okay?
Here's the first card.
Now look at it, and tell me what you see.
l see a bat.
A bat or a weasel.
-A bat or a weasel? -Yeah.
Bat. Bat-weasel.
Do you see anything else?
Just a pussy with teeth.
-Pussy with teeth. -Yeah.
Next card.
Excellent, Paul.
One hour and 1 2 minutes.
l want you to take a look at this picture and tell me what's happening.
l think we got a picture of a guy, nice, hardworking fella.
Comes home, sees his wife is in bed with a midget...
...and she's been fucking him while he's out of town.
So she's having intercourse...?
With a midget.
Very good.
lt doesn't matter who they know downtown.
Tell them they got no leverage.
-Mr. Chapin? -Come in. Come in. All right.
-Hi, l'm Dr. Ben Sobel. -Hi. Thanks for coming in. l appreciate it.
-My pleasure. -So, what have we got?
Okay....
Based on his symptoms and his test results, l would call it brief psychotic disorder...
...and if it persists, schizophreniform disorder.
And Dr. Kassam, the psychiatrist at Sing Sing, concurs with the diagnosis.
-So he's crazy. -Not crazy. No. At least not permanently.
See, in certain people, prolonged exposure to extremely stressful situations...
...like soldiers in combat, for instance, or disaster victims or hostages...
...can produce a temporary psychotic state.
-How temporary? -A day, a week, a month...
...if the precipitating stresses are removed.
Which means he's not gonna get better as long as he's in the can.
He could conceivably get worse.
Right now he thinks somebody is trying to kill him.
And he could deteriorate to the point where he's permanently schizophrenic.
Then he's got a real problem. He goes before the parole board in four weeks.
Would they actually release him?
Oh, yeah. l'm sure they'll want to release a major Mafia figure...
...who's now certifiably deranged on top of it.
Why don't they release him to a halfway house...
...or a center where he can get the care he needs?
Based on my earlier work with him, l don't think he's dangerous...
...and l think he's making a strong effort to reform himself.
Okay...
...l'll tell you what l'm gonna do.
l'm gonna release him into your custody.
Mine? Oh, no. No, l couldn't-- No. No. No.
Mr. Chapin, thank you, anyway, but this is a very bad time for me.
-See, my father just died. -l'm sorry.
And l'm grieving. lt's a process. And l have a bulging disk in my neck.
And l have this burning sensation when l urinate--
-Yeah, l've had that too. -We're redecorating, which is a nightmare.
-You wanna see him killed in prison? -No.
Or sent to a facility for the criminally insane?
-Of course not. -Then he's all yours.
l told my son we couldn't have a dog. l'm gonna bring home Paul Vitti?
l'm gonna talk to the Bureau of Prisons...
...and get you certified as a temporary federal institution.
l can't be an institution. l work in the suburbs.
l handle neurotic soccer moms and alcoholic Gentiles--
You have got 30 days to get him into shape for his parole hearing.
That means sane, sober and gainfully employed.
Now l'm warning you, doctor. lf he screws up in any way, if he flees...
...or if l find out this was a setup to get him on the street...
...l will hold you totally responsible.
And you will pay dearly.
You'll be stripped of your license and prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
Are we clear?
Yes.
Do you want him or not?
-Yes. -Good choice. We'll be in touch.
-Tony. -Hi, how are you?
You okay?
-Doctor, sign here and here, please. -Okay.
Okay, thank you very much.
You fucking piece of shit! l tell you someone is trying to kill me and you hang up on me?!
-l knew it. l knew it! You faked! -You stuck me with a fucking needle!
-You used me to get you out of prison. -lt took you long enough.
l'm singing West Side Story for three days. l'm half a fag already.
-What were you doing? -l was in a funeral home!
What's that got to do with somebody trying to kill me? You're my doctor!
-My father died. -So?
With you, it's always, ''Me, me, me.'' He's dead, so get over it. That's life.
Are you hearing this? Are you hearing you?
-l'm deeply sorry for your loss, okay? -Yeah, l can see how touched you are.
-All right. Who's after you? -You tell me.
Could be my old crew, could be the Rigazzis, Lou the Wrench.
Lou the Wrench? Why ''the Wrench''?
The guy's a maniac. He twisted some guy's head off once.
-Off? -Off. Totally off.
The feds are putting pressure on everybody. All the families are fighting each other.
lt's like the fall of the Roman Empire. WWlll.
-What does this have to do with you? -They knew l was getting out.
The last thing they want to do is see me get into it.
Just explain to them that you're out of it now and you're starting a new life.
That's a really imaginative thought. l wish l could have thought of that.
Maybe they'd throw a party and give me a gold watch.
What, are you kidding me?
Believe me, nobody's happy that l'm getting out. Nobody.
-Wanna grab your stuff? -No. Jelly's gonna pick me up in an hour.
l don't think you understand. You're in my custody.
You stay here. Therapy every day. You can't leave without permission.
You gotta be kidding me.
Are you coming in, or do l have to make a phone call?
Some fucking life this is gonna be. Get my bags.
Do you really think he's crazy? Don't you wanna get a second opinion?
lf he thinks l think he's crazy, he's crazier than l think he is.
Locked up, he's of absolutely no use to us.
But back on the street, Vitti has enough juice to be a threat to both families.
lt's like throwing gasoline on a fire.
-That's if he goes back to his old life. -People like Paul Vitti don't change.
He's been a menace to society since he was 1 2 years old.
-Being a criminal is all he knows. -He's gonna head straight back for trouble.
Then all we have to do is sit back and pick up the pieces.
We need to stay on Vitti.
How could you? How could you bring him here?
That mobster in my house, eating off of my dishes.
lt's not like l had a lot of choice.
lt's a new law? You have to bring home a gangster?
He's in my custody. l am a temporary federal institution.
-Why couldn't he just go home? -Because his wife and his family are in Ohio.
Sure, yeah, everybody gets to go to Ohio except me.
-You wanna go to Ohio? -That's not the-- Shut up!
His life was threatened. He didn't want to endanger his family.
How thoughtful. But it's okay to endanger our family?
l know this is a terrible imposition, but it's not like l wanted him here.
Well, you didn't want him, and l didn't want him, but here he is.
Here he is.
Hey, you.
-Coffee? -What?
Somebody said something about coffee.
Yeah, that was you. You said you wanted some.
So, what's the holdup?
Ben, why don't you make your friend some coffee.
l'm gonna take a long bath. And hopefully drown.
Excuse her, usually she is a wonderful hostess...
...but she's grieving. lt's a process.
Hey, doc, listen.
l got a friend coming over, so l don't want you to be surprised.
What kind of friend? Because if it's the Wrench, or the Pliers--
-No, it's a personal thing, you know? -Oh, yeah?
They won't be staying late, will they?
-Are you that fucking pussy-whipped? -l'm not--
-This has nothing to do with Laura. -l just heard her busting your balls.
We were having a disagreement, yes.
But some conflict is normal in a marriage.
-Or? -Or what?
-You're pussy-whipped. -Paul, l am not--
When the coffee's ready, l'll be upstairs. Good night, whippy.
Forty minutes.
-How long are you gonna let them go on? -Let them?
How much longer can they go on?
Another five minutes, l'll break it up or l'll call the Guinness Book of Records.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
Give me a break. She's faking.
What?
Nobody sounds like that.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, God. Oh, God!
Come on, nobody sounds like that.
-l don't know. -''l don't know.''
Yeah?
-Paul, l have to talk to you. -What's up?
-l have to talk to you. -Talk later?
Now.
Hold on.
-Yeah? -l have a 1 7-year-old son.
l'll ask her.
That's not what l'm talking about. l need to speak to you.
Actually, l'm right in the middle of somebody. Can't you see?
Paul, now.
And, miss, there's no smoking in my house. Thank you.
Okay, Paul, what do you think you're doing?
Minding my own business, like you should be doing.
That's difficult to do with The Vagina Monologues in the guest room.
l been in the can for two and a half years.
-What am l supposed to do? -Go to a hotel.
That's what l wanted. You told me l can't. You said it's either here or Sing Sing.
l'm not trying to punish you, but l do have some responsibilities.
l thought you might appreciate a nice home-cooked meal after being in prison.
Yeah, that's what l've been jerking off to for the last 850 nights in a row.
A fucking home-cooked meal. Tuna casserole!
-All right, Paul? -Doc?
-The girl's gotta go. -The girl? You know, l bet you're jealous.
Yes, l'm very-- And what might l be jealous of?
l didn't hear nothing out of your room.
We don't think it's necessary to wake the neighbors every time we have sex.
lf you're quiet, you could do it without even waking your wife.
Paul, that is not funny.
What is that?
l told her if l wasn't back in two minutes to start without me. l gotta go.
-This is not a good start. -lt was for me till you knocked on my door.
-Here, Aunt Esther. -Thank you.
And again, l'm so sorry we had to put you up at a hotel.
We would've loved to have you stay with us, but we had an unexpected houseguest.
His father always had room for us.
-Don't say that to me. -Shut up.
You go to hell! l am so out of here!
Go on, get out of here, you fucking pain in the ass!
You crazy pain in the ass! Get the fuck out of here!
Go ahead, go back to turning tricks in Hoboken, you pain in the ass!
How's it going?
Food.
Paul?
-Paul, what are you doing? -Hey, doc.
l'm just looking for something to eat over here. This all you got?
Who do you have to fuck to get some bacon around here?
Not you, l hope.
He's new in town. Let's go in the office, l'll make you a plate.
-What's in the office? -We're gonna go to the office and talk first.
Hey, doc, what's up with your family? They tend to overreact a little.
l know. All you did was flash everybody in the dining room.
By the look of some of them broads, they ain't seen the old salsicc' for a long time.
-lt's good for them. -Good for them?
Well, when the paramedics revive my aunt Golda, l'll be sure to ask her, okay?
Sit down.
So....
Paul, do you mind?
l think we've seen enough of the old salsicc' for one day. Thank you.
So, what are you gonna do, Paul?
l'm gonna find out who's trying to kill me. l'm a target.
They could shoot through that window and blow my fucking head off. Then what?
-So l gotta deal with that. -That would be a priority, l understand that.
l'm talking about a job, work.
There's gotta be something that you like to do.
l like hitting guys over the head with a baseball bat. That's good.
So sporting goods.
-Yeah, exactly. -That's interesting.
So who are you?
-Who am l? -l just wanna know how you see yourself.
l'm Paul Vitti. l'm the boss.
The boss of what? The boss of Jelly?
Because you're not the boss of me.
So, what are you the boss of?
l see what you're doing, you. l see. l get it.
-What am l doing? -You're pissing me off. That's what.
Look at me. l'm starting to get anxious.
lt's very understandable that you're anxious.
l mean, you spent your whole life becoming something that you were...
...and now you can't be that anymore, so it's scary.
l mean, if you're not Paul Vitti ''the boss,'' who are you?
Let me ask you this way.
When you were a kid, what did you want to be?
-l was a kid. Who remembers that shit? -But you had to want to be something.
-Did you want to be a baseball player? -No.
A fireman? An astronaut.
Come on, what did you wanna be?
-lt was stupid. -lt's not stupid.
-What, are you afraid to tell me? -Yeah, l'm afraid.
So tell me. l'm not here to judge you. What did you want to be?
There was one time when l was about...
...maybe 6, 6 and a half, 7. Right in there. Right in that time.
l thought that l wanted to be a.... l wanted to be a....
For a second.... You know, a little kid.
-What? -Maybe.... l was a kid, you know?
Little kid.
What?
-Tell me. -l wanted to be a cowboy.
-A cowboy, really? -Would you believe that?
Well, that's interesting.
How did that start?
l was watching television with my mother, father.
You know, we watched those cowboy shows.
And my--
My father got me the whole outfit.
He got me a 1 0-gallon white hat...
...the boots, the spurs, the cap guns...
...the whole bit.
Then he took me upstate to my uncle's farm and led me around on this little pony.
And there was cows and all that stuff. lt was like, to me, the Wild West.
And it was all ''yippee kai-ay'' and all that stuff. You happy now?
So, what happened?
-l don't know. What happened? -Why didn't you try to be a cowboy?
l was in East Harlem. l joined a street gang when l was 1 2 years old.
''Why didn't l become a cowboy?''
Something else happened when you were 1 2 that was very difficult for you.
Yeah.
That's when your father was murdered.
Yeah, l think about it every day.
-What's that got to do with anything? -lt has a lot to do with things.
lt's very interesting because your father was the one who got you the white hat.
He was in the Mob, but yet he wanted you to be a hero.
Yeah, he did.
Your father wanted you to have a better life than he did.
He did, yeah.
He wanted me to go to college. l didn't even go to high school, hardly.
That's because he had died and he wasn't around to guide you.
See, Paul, before, you said, ''l'm Paul Vitti, the boss'' ...
...but when l look at you, l see Paul Vitti the 1 2-year-old kid...
...who's scared and confused with a lot of hard choices to make.
You.
-You. You're good, you. -No, Paul--
-No, you're good. You're better than good. -lt's just the beginning.
You're real good. You made me realize l'm a little fucking kid.
That's all l wanted. l never could figure it out with my father. That's great.
-But you have to-- -lt's clear now. New choices, new things.
New beginnings. l'm ready. l'm here, front and center. Let's go.
There's somebody that l work with. He's a career counselor.
-He places people in jobs. He's excellent. -l'm ready. Sign me up. l'm ready to go.
-l'm ready to jump in with both feet. -That's great.
-l'm ready! -Down!
That was not a good thing.
Hi, doc.
-Jelly, what are you doing here? -Hey, doc. lt's been a while.
-l thought you were in prison. -lt would appear not.
-Well, how did you get out? -l had a new trial.
lt turns out the evidence in my first trial was, you know, tainted.
l see.
Anyway, two of the witnesses decided not to testify, and the third guy...
...he committed suicide.
How?
He stabbed himself in the back four times and threw himself off a bridge.
Very unfortunate.
Good to have you back.
We're in a war, Paul. lt's not safe out there.
The Rigazzis are walking all over us.
We need you, Paul.
You know, Sally, l'm out of it.
-lt's over for me. l don't do this no more. -The family needs you.
What are you talking about? No one did the big jobs like you.
Air France, they're still talking about it.
Paul, think about it. For me?
-l'll think about it. -Okay.
Come on, what is this? A fucking funeral?
You just got out of college, for chrissakes. Let's have a party.
l'll have one drink, and then l gotta go see the boss.
-Yeah, what? -''Yeah, what?''
That's how you answer the door, you? ''Yeah, what?''
You got a problem with that?
-Yeah, what? -Don't bother getting up on our account.
Paul, what a nice surprise.
-Yeah, Patti, how's it going? -lt's good.
Come here, you. Give me a kiss.
Get over here.
Come on, what did l do? What did l do that you're mad at me?
Come on.
-How are you, Paul? -All right.
-You missed a spot. -You can't be too careful.
Hey, l know. Sorry to hear about Carmine.
-He was a good man. -Yeah, l know.
You live with someone for 21 years. Then one day they pull his torso out of the river.
-lt's hard. -Yeah, l'll bet.
Especially since the talk was that you were the one that put him there.
-That's why l try not to gossip. lt's ugly. -Yeah, it is.
Just a sec. Michelle, Theresa, it's 1 0:30. Stop fucking around and get ready for ballet!
lt's so hard being a single parent and a career woman.
For instance, a lot of people are saying now that you're out...
...that you're gonna try and take the family from me.
l said, ''No, Paul would never do that to me.''
-Never. Not me. -Good.
So you look good. What, have you been working out?
Yeah, l been working out who's been trying to kill me. Got any ideas?
lt's a dog-eat-dog world out there.
And you know nobody will be safe unless we end this thing with the Rigazzis.
-So you had nothing to do with it? -Paul, calm down, okay?
l did not try and kill you. All right?
Look, l want us to be friends, you know?
Who knows?
Maybe we'll be more than friends.
You wanna lick my beaters?
Patti, let's get serious.
l wanna be left alone, okay?
l'm not doing anything, l'm just taking care of my own self...
...which is what l should always be doing, and that's it.
-Sure, l understand, okay? -You understand?
l do. l understand. Relax. Sit down, l'll make you a cup of coffee.
No, l gotta go. l got a business thing with some guy.
lf you get something going, we'd expect some kind of consideration. A little taste.
-No, this is a legitimate thing. lt's different. -You gave me a chill.
Yeah, well, you'll get over it.
Give me a kiss. Come on, give me a kiss, you.
-Take care of yourself, huh? -You too.
All right.
-Don't be a stranger, Paul. -Yeah, l'll see you around.
Watch him like a hawk.
lt would break my heart, but if he steps out of line, shoot him in the fucking head.
lt'll be my pleasure.
Look at the size of that trunk. You could put three bodies in there.
Just kidding. Just trying to levitate the situation.
-Okay, thank you. We appreciate it. -Sure.
-Hey, what kind of car youse drive, anyway? -lt's a Lexus 430 LS.
That's like a Toyota.
-lt's a Lexus. -Yeah, Toyota, Lexus, same thing.
Japanese, right? Let's not forget Pearl Harbor.
Anyway, let's get serious. You wanna buy this car, or what?
-We have to think about it. -What's to think about?
You told me you liked it. You asked me 1 0,000 questions. l answered every one.
You drove it. You love it. What more do you need to know?
You know, it's a lot of money, and we need time to consider it.
Consider it? Why don't you consider this.
You been breaking my balls for an hour...
...asking me about every goddamn accessory in this car.
-''What about the light?'' -You cannot talk to customers like that.
You're not a customer as far as l'm concerned.
-You want to buy the car or not? -Not from you. l wanna see the manager.
You wanna see the manager? l'll show you the manager.
-Here's the manager. Right here. -Unbelievable.
-Come on. -Wanna talk to him?
What should l do? Throw them out!
You hear him? He just said, ''Throw them out.''
What should they get? Tell them to get a Honda!
Hey, he just said it. He's the boss.
So tell me, how was your first day?
Good. Good. Good.
That's great, Paul. That's great. Did you sell any cars?
Almost.
6:45, okay.
-Paul, thanks for everything. -We have been waiting here 20 minutes.
l only got two hands, left and right. l can slap you with either one.
Now get out of here. You're a pain in the ass. Come on.
-Mr. Torre. Mr. Torre. Let him through. -Hey, Paul. Glad you're out.
-How are you? My son Michael. -Hey, Michael, nice to meet you.
-l wanted to ask you something. -Yeah?
You think the Yankees are gonna go all the way?
-We'll do our best. -lt would be very important to me personally.
Very important.
-Try. -l'll talk to the team.
-Go eat. -Joe, good to see you.
-Welcome back. -Thank you, Charlie.
Hey, Paul.
-Hey, Joey. -How are you? l heard you was out.
-Yeah, well, you know-- -The table for six isn't ready.
l'm gonna take the four now.
When Mr. Arnold comes in bring him right back.
So, what are you doing? You working here?
You know, l'm on parole. l gotta be a good boy, you know?
l got a piece of the joint. So, what am l going to do? l gotta....
l get it. We're gonna have a drink at the bar.
-All right, okay. l'll see you, Joe. -Nice to meet you.
Big smiles, everybody.
Thanks, Paul. Appreciate it.
Hey, can you get us a Pelligrino, round of drinks...
...and more bread when you get a chance? Thanks.
-You want more bread? -Yeah. Bread.
There you go.
l'll get your drinks now.
This stone is supposed to be a G color. lt looks a little yellow, doesn't it?
That's the fluorescent light.
lt makes everything look yellow.
No, l thought fluorescent light makes everything look blue.
What am l, Edison? That's a fuck-- lt's the fluorescent light doing that. That's a G.
Well, maybe.
Look from that angle.
What do you think?
l don't--
l don't know.
-lt's a little.... -Yeah.
Could we look at it with a lens? That might help us out.
Do you have a lens?
We just asked for a lens.
-Where do you think you're going? -Where am l going?
The orphanage found my real parents. l'm going to Jelly's house.
No, you're not. You're in my custody. And we have therapy to do.
For what? The more we talk, the worse l get. Look at me. l'm a fucking wreck.
-l had that dream again. -The one where you're Mussolini?
No, the other one. You know, l'm 1 6, you're Freud.
And then l'm scared out of my mind...
...and these giants are coming at me with guns. And l'm fighting them off.
Too bad.
-The limp-sword dream? -Yeah.
-l probably shouldn't be listening to this. -Well, then don't.
Paul?
Sorry.
Let's talk about it.
And you don't think this dream is sexual?
You're thinking the sword is my cock, l can't get it up. That ain't it.
Because l was with Sheila last night, l had a hard-on you could swing from.
-l don't need to know that. -You could hang wet towels on this one.
Congratulations. lt's a nice thing to have.
-He's built like a racehorse in that area. -Thank you. l get it.
-l've seen it. -Hey, wait in the car, you.
-So, what does it mean? -Sex can mean a lot of things.
l think, in this case, it's about performance anxiety.
You're under a lot of pressure.
You're changing your life, you're trying to find a job that fits you.
Doc, nothing is gonna fit though. This 9 to 5 bullshit?
Forget about it. l'll fucking kill myself.
You know they take taxes out of your paycheck? What the fuck is that?
Like, l'm doomed.
l'll wind up selling hot dogs on the street.
Take a deep breath, Paul.
-l mean, my heart's beating like a rabbit! -Just relax. You're hyperventilating.
That's all it is. Here, breathe into this bag.
And breathe in and then breathe out. ln, out.
-This is your fault. -Excuse me?
-This is all your fault. -My fault?
You tell me to get a job like l'm a fucking nobody. lt's humiliating.
Really? ls it? You know what, l'm doing the best that l can. All right?
lf it's not appreciated, or if my best isn't good enough for you...
...then find somebody else to talk to, you selfish son of a bitch!
Because l didn't ask to be born!
What the hell is that about?
l'm sorry. l'm grieving. lt's a process.
All right, l'm the patient. That's enough.
Now what are you taking?
Echinacea, goldenseal.
lmmune system. There's a lot of plants and ticks.
Okay.
Do you know the television show Little Caesar?
Yeah, l know it.
The producer of the show is a man named Raoul Berman.
A mutual friend told him l know you, so Mr. Berman called me this morning...
-...and said that he would like to meet you. -For what?
l don't know. Why don't you meet him and find out?
We just got him out of our house. Now we're having dinner with him?
-That's not very professional, is it? -lt's social.
He's meeting a television producer who could give him a job.
He's very nervous about it, and he asked me to buffer. l'm here to buffer.
He's a grown man. Why does he need a chaperone?
He doesn't. He needs a buffer. That's me. l'm here in a buffering capacity.
lf you say ''buffer'' one more time....
331 , they're all inside. We're gonna go eat something.
We'll be back before they finish dinner.
Didn't you just take two of those?
Did l? No, that was the other.... The Chinese herb enzyme thing. This is different.
Just don't drink anything.
Drink? Honey, l'm a doctor, l know what l'm doing.
l adore this place. lt is the best sushi in town.
Yeah, it smells good.
Did you try the yellowtail, Paul?
They got any real food around here? l mean, this is like eating fucking bait.
Raoul, what's very interesting about Paul is that he was born without a filter.
He has no filter. He says whatever comes through his mind. He never edits himself.
-What's with you? -What do you mean?
-You sound like a fucking retard. -l took a pill. l took an ibuprofen pill.
l probably shouldn't have had the mai tai or the sake.
lt interacted, and it's giving me a little problem with my upper lip. That's all.
-lt will be gone in about an hour. -Will you shut the fuck up?
See that? He just told me to shut the fuck up!
l love it! l absolutely love it.
ln two seconds, l'm gonna stick this fork in your fucking eye.
He will stick a fucking fork in my eye! What did l tell you?
Unfiltered.
Could l get another one of these, please?
Me too. l'd like a cosmopolitan.
-No. No. No. -Why not?
-The buffer has had too much. -Okay.
Mr. Berman, l love your show.
Thank you.
And Anthony Bella, the guy that plays Nicky Caesar?
He grew up in Bensonhurst, right next door to my cousin's friend's husband.
l hate to bust your bubble, but there's no way he's from Bensonhurst.
He's, like, a professional ltalian from Connecticut or someplace.
Listen, Paul, l have to ask, would you be interested in working on Little Caesar...
...as a consultant and technical advisor, you know, coaching the actors?
Making sure the dialogue rings true.
-Yeah, whatever. -Oh, my God! This is so exciting!
Fantastic!
How about a toast? A toast to Paul and Little Caesar.
Down!
That restaurant was really good.
l liked it up until the attempted whacking.
Now, is that the right terminology, Mafia shrink?
Sorry.
Do you know that you were muttering and drooling like one of your relatives tonight?
What are those pills? What are you taking?
You know, at this point, anything l can get my hands on.
Okay? Because l am staring into a big hole that l can't fill up.
You don't need this. You don't need this Paul Vitti thing in your life right now.
Especially not right now.
l think you need to be grieving for your father.
You know, it's just, l'm finding the whole thing just a little confusing.
You know, l became a therapist...
...because he was a therapist. l mean, it was that easy.
Because his approval was so important to me. l mean, it was everything.
And l never really got it.
So now l'm thinking, is this--?
ls this the reason l did it?
And now that he's gone, do l still wanna do this?
Because l don't know.
Come here, baby.
l just want you to be happy.
Hey, pal.
-l'll ask you once. Who are you working for? -l'm working for your mother.
-Fuck you. -Fuck me?
Yeah. No, no, no, wait, wait! Stop! Wait! Wait!
-Stop! -Who are you working for?
Get me up! Stop! Get me up!
Drop him.
l'm working for Lou the Wrench. Rigazzi.
-The Wrench? -Yeah, the Wrench.
-How do you spell his name? -l don't know how to spell it. R-l-Z-A-Z-Z....
Can't even spell his fucking name right, you fucking moron.
Pull him up.
What's the matter with you?
You said drop him.
-l said pull him back up. -That ain't what l heard.
Then you heard what you wanted to hear.
l guess you got me there.